youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
