my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I could fuck to npr.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
