I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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