I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
