what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize