I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
