How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize