I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
