Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
