drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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