hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
