You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
