Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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