Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
