But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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