Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
