I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
