so explain again why im purple
no
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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