I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
