when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
