I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
