glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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