You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
