I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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