i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize