batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
