Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
