SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
