There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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