He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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