i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize