Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
