I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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