Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
