She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Also, beer. Big fan.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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