No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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