I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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