Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Randomize