so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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