idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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