It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
