I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
