I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
