i just had sex bonerless
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
