dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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