Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
