Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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