she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize