I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
