I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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