thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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