it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
