dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize