so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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