just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize