turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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