i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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