If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Michael Bay diarrhea
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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