i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize