so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
time to smoke my breakfast
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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