i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
